Sunday, September 9, 2012

A Moment...

mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.
Agatha Christie

I have been ill with the flu all weekend which has plain old sucked but ensured I was taking it easy which is literally the pre-scan orders. I had a moment today with my daughter that just you know… got me.
I needed to lie down and rest midway through the day and my little monkey wanted to be with her mama. I told her the rules – mama needed to rest so she had to be quiet and play by herself. She assured me she could comply. She then proceeded to march back and forth between my room and hers more than a dozen times – handing me a new cuddly animal with each trip. I loved hearing the sound of her heavy sometimes clumsy bare feet in the hallway – there was something comforting about the sound. Maybe it was the loving care she showed me or maybe it was the look in her eyes when she handed me toy after toy – a look of such utter love. Whichever it was – it hit me straight in the heart and before I knew it there were tears running down my face. Tears of pride for the little girl my husband and I have raised that already knows empathy and can show so much love. Tears of joy for the gift she gave me by saving my life. Tears of pain for the last 2 years she has lived through with me. Tears of fear for what could still happen. I am trying so hard to be positive and just believe that everything is going to be okay but I only have to look into her eyes so see what could be lost. And the thought of that just literally breaks my heart right into two. I want to be there – for everything and anything. For her. For him.
And you know what she said to me when she noticed the tears streaming down that I was trying so desperately to hide? She got up on the bed beside me and rubbed my arm and softly said, “That’s better.” And yes it is when love is all around. 

OBB xx

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