I have written two almost complete blog entries in the last week and discarded both. I just felt like they were forced and the content was just a re-hash of things and not a clear window into my soul. I am always trying to find new windows with which to let my thoughts and emotions come through to you guys and when it feels forced, it also feels disengenuine. So I finally got a hint of inspiration walking back from dropping my daughter off at daycare this morning whilst absorbing the cold fogginess around me.
I was sauntering along the street and a man walked briskly past me. He wasnt in power walking gear and was just heading off somewhere he needed to be. An everyday event but it got me thinking. I am pretty tall and have fairly long legs. I also had a very tall father with even longer legs. Whenever i was out with him, I usually had to do a slow run or skip to keep his pace. I think as a result I have always been a fast walker. I was never really aware of it until I was out walking with groups and realised I was always abit ahead of the pack and in the company of myself. I also sometimes even had to stagger my steps consciously if I wanted to actually participate in conversations. This need for speed was made even stronger when I lived in London where the pace is dizzying. In London you rush everywhere. You rush to catch your tube to work, you rush to grab your coffee before the queue gets too long, you rush down the escalator just to get ahead of those 3 or 4 people. It is a way of life there. I noticed this even more when I visited other places especially Vancouver where my mom lives (as well as lots of good friends!). I would often get so frustrated with people and cars everywhere. Why was everyone going so slowly and why did they not know you had to stand to the right on escalators, sidewalks, lane ways so others could pass. I would sigh loudly when I would get boxed in walking through the mall. What a bitch I must have seemed to be! My mother would often tell me to calm down and stop rushing through life. I brushed off her advice and just kept going.
So this man who passed me today got me thinking. I have been overtaken by many people these days. I am no longer the one pushing ahead and rushing from one place to another. I dont think it has much to do with the fact that I have shorter legs or a reduced physical capacity (though my hips do kill and I have had just had cancer so maybe a little bit!). I think it has more to do with where I am in life and my frame of mind. I am trying to live in the moment and see life as it happens rather then always looking forward to the next best thing. Of course I have goals and things I want to do but I also want to see all the wonderful things on the way there. And so I will walk a little slower because I want to.