I have just bid adieu to a dear old friend who was visiting the past week and I am distinctly melancholic. I hate goodbyes. They are always tough and especially so during emotionally charged times like now. Also living in a foreign country so far from family and friends, these old friends who have known you for so long are a cherished rarity. I don’t often have the opportunity to reminiscence in person about the things I did when I was 8 or 14 or even 20! So when I do get the chance it is so wonderful and truly warms my heart. It makes me remember who I am – not just today but all of me from the beginning to now. I do feel that there is a bigger gap left behind when they leave and it maybe takes me a little longer to jump back into normal day to day life again.
So what has happened since I last wrote? Well I began one of my last “jobs” relating to my treatment plan. Seeing as I used to be a recruiter – I would call it a short term 1 month contract of radiation. I finished my 6th round this morning and it is going fast. It is kind of like a 5 day workweek for me now with daily treks to the hospital for my dose of the strong stuff. It all happens very quickly and once they get me in position, draw some more lines all over my torso in marker and cover my scar – I lie there for 3 minutes while this machine swirls around me and I am done. Not a huge deal and no needles!! I am only just starting to feel subtle changes – little tickling sensations on the skin, a bit of tightness like you get after a sunburn but nothing too dramatic yet. I am very tired though and apparently that just gets worse as it goes on. But between a tough pregnancy, newborn baby and then cancer treatment all back to back – I have been tired for about 3 years straight so no dramatic life change there for me.
I have also begun my 5 year long term relationship with tamoxifen (hormone therapy for the non pharmacists or cancer free peeps out there) last week. We are still in the “getting to know each other” stage and sorting out the kinks along the way. It is making falling asleep a little challenging at night for some reason and my joints are aching like a 90 year old! It’s funny though as I wouldn’t warrant any of my discomfort as qualifying to take a Tylenol/paracet! And here I was the girl who previously took a pill any time I felt an inkling of discomfort anywhere. I think my pain scales have changed dramatically in the last year and I am more Amazon then princess these days. And I always tell myself that things could be worse…
I also wanted to provide a hair update! My hair is growing fast and is nearly 2 cm long now. It is still looking slightly “old man receding style” on top from the lingering effects of the chemo but growing steadily. I am hoping in the next 2-3 weeks to ditch the wig. I also totally need to color my hair as it is growing in a yucky mousy grey hue that is doing nothing for my complexion and there is also a definite curl to the hair. So many people told me their hair grew in totally different after chemo and I am a believer! But not long now till I can feel more like me again and that will feel good.
Have a great day!