Friday, July 5, 2013
Normal is Good
I realise it has nearly been 2 weeks since I last wrote and I wanted to ensure no one was worrying about me. Silence in the cancer blogging world can often be interpreted as trouble. However I am happy to report that I have not been able to write because I have been far too busy. My husband and daughter arrived home from holiday, my mother was staying with us and then my sister and baby arrived last week. It was a busy house to say the least and there were few moments to slow down and reflect. But today the house is quiet and the rooms empty. I made my last drive to the airport early this morning to say goodbye to the last of my family. I am always to sentimental about goodbyes and the emptiness that often follows. We did manage to have a really great time and fit lots in despite my energy challenges. I love to be with my family as I don´t get to see them very often so it was a definite treat for me. Luckily my blood values were also in high spirits as tests last week showed that I wasn´t in the danger zone which was great. And I am pleased to report that I still have hair on my head and I in no way resemble someone with a comeover or receding hairline. Yeah me! I was able to show it off to my doctor who had assured me back in May that it would all be gone. Sometimes it is nice to prove those medical peeps wrong!
Now I am a dead woman walking. Well sorta- I feel like it some ways. I am two days away from my final trip to the C Spa and dreading it. I know it is the last one but god does it feel like a mountain to get over. I think of the 7 days of sheer hell ahead and it makes me nauseous already. Maybe it will go better since I know it is the last time but I don´t know. I haven´t had any breaks so far so here is hoping.
In other news, I made a little trip to the hospital today for a CT planning session to determine whether I will do more radiation when the chemo is done. It is pretty simple and all you do is lie in the CT machine while they make drawings on the radiation fields on your skin. For the first time I got three "tattoos" which will never go away that will mark where things should be. The nurse apologised for marking me but I laughed and said that my chest area was already a mess of scars and marks so what was alittle more? Now we wait and see what happens.
I guess that is all the news from me. Bit slow on the cancer front which is actually a good thing. It means that i am actually out living my life and being distracted by normal things. I will finish with a funny little story - I was getting out of the shower a few days ago and my daughter barged in to the bathroom. She pointed at my chest where my port was sitting under my skin and exclaimed (in norwegian) "Mama - you have a little boob. Where did you get it from?" I had to laugh at her curiosity and general excitement over her mother having a tiny boob. Kids are hilarious and I am so lucky to have that ball of sunshine in my life. She keeps me going.
So I will start building up my arsenal over the weekend and drawing up a final battle plan. I need this medicine to do its job and find every last one of those bloody cells and kill them mercilessly. Kill, kill, kill - I will cry. And I will win.
Fingers crossed the week goes as okay as it can.
PS: I want to thank my legion of supporters and cheerleaders who really picked me up when I was down. I was in a dark place when I wrote the last entry and I didnt think I could keep going but you all reminded me why i am doing this and to not give up. I want to grow old with all of you.