Well this is literally the first time in nearly a week that I have actually had some quiet time to whip out a blog entry. I realized I possibly had a bit too much on when I found my brief solo trip to the grocery store earlier today relaxing! I lingered through the exotic fruits and vegetable section, become engrossed with chip (crisp) selection and scouted out my beloved OK! Magazine. So what has been filling my days lately? Here is a recap.
So Friday was round 4 and it went brilliantly. I have started to have a bit of a routine on C-spa mornings and I quite enjoy it. I have always been a big fan of my morning routine and have always woken earlier then I needed to in order to never rush and enjoy my cup of coffee, shower, spot of morning news, beauty regime, etc… My C-Spa routine is decidedly different but I think it calms me down and gets me in the right mode. I always head to the hospital alone while my husband drops our daughter off at daycare. I pop on my C-spa mix on my phone (yes I have actually made a music mix for chemo day!) and try to relax on the 5 minute bus ride there. Once there I grab a number and wait for the blood test. Once done – instead of lingering in the waiting room which can have quite a tense and uncomfortable atmosphere, I now head off to the cancer gym – put my music on speaker, do some yoga, stretch, and just be in the moment. Any little thing I can do to make this huge ordeal I am happy to do and this definitely does. So after getting the good news on my blood counts and being cleared for treatment, I was all set for my favorite nurse and usual chair. But oh the horror! I am told they are under-staffed and I must go upstairs to the 4th floor for my chemo. I really freaked out for a moment as the people upstairs didn’t know me, didn’t understand my anxieties or my story. This was not my plan! My worries quickly abatted as I immediately ran into Nurse Flo (from one my earlier post-surgery blogs) and another wonderful nurse who was there the moment I found out the dreaded news all those months ago. They hugged me like old friends and they quickly got caught up on my news. I was then introduced to my new nurse who was very friendly and I proceeded to start briefing her on my “difficult veins”. She reassured me my veins looked fine and told me she had her own way of doing it which was different from downstairs. Different how I wondered? Well her way of doing things was BRILLIANT! I honestly was lost for words as the IV process was like getting a blood test and gushed to her about how amazing she was. It really took all my anxiety away and I think it was one of my nicest C-spa experiences to date. She sat by me most of the time and we talked about my story, Captain AC, my daughter, life, perspective…Obviously my blog came up and she wanted to read it for herself so if you are reading this now – please know you are a C-spa rock star and made round 4 memorable for all the right reasons.
Nurse Flo also paid me a visit mid-treatment and we talked about my blog which she had been following over the past few months. She was touched by my tribute to her and also wanted to pass my blog onto other young breast cancer patients like myself that she has treated. That made me feel good as this is one of the main reasons I am writing this. Aside from keeping team OBB informed and down with the 411 (only Canadians will get that reference!), I also want to be open and honest about this experience in the hope it will help others out and make this journey abit easier for those walking this long often scary road. So a few short hours later, despite being weighed down by my heavy cocktail coursing through my veins, I felt quite light and happy and boy did it feel good.
My weekend continued on with minimal side effects, aside from the usual fatigue and dreary rain! Things heated up Sunday night but unfortunately not for the right reasons. I decided to give my daughter a Reese pieces (only one itty bitty candy) after dinner – little did I know I was playing with fire. It started as hives around her mouth and suddenly turned into a full on anaphylactic reaction. We rushed her to the Emergency and she was taken in immediately. As things become more serious, the doctors and nurses rushed around her with needles here and monitors there and speaking words I didn’t understand. Now I am getting better at Norwegian but the moment I am tired or stressed my ability to understand goes completely out the window. Watching your child go through something as scary as this is hard enough but then not knowing what anyone is saying around you just adds to the nightmare. It was hard and any parent knows how awful it is to see your child suffer. Maybe it is all the things I have been through recently or my weakened body from chemo but I do feel that my ability to cope is not what is used to be. This was plain hard.
I am happy to report that my darling monkey has made a full recovery and we are now a nut free family equipped with an Epi Pen. At least we know now about it (knowledge is power!) and it happened when we were there and could respond accordingly. I guess it is again taking the good out of a bad situation which is what I do best.
So maybe this is why I am feeling so exhausted this week. But everything that happens continues to give me perspective on what is important and I appreciate every good thing in my life. The rain may be pouring, my hair may look like a chia pet and my bones may feel 30 years older than they are but then again I am alive and kicking and surrounded by people I love. What more can you ask for?
Good night all,