Sunday, March 24, 2013

Highs and Lows

So I just wanted to write alittle update from me before many of you take off somewhere wonderful for Easter. I am jealous and hate you all! :)

The low point of my week was a meeting with a thoracic surgeon at the hospital on Thursday. I didn't know him and he had not operated on me. He informed me rather curtly that all he was there to do was check my incision. There was hardly a hello before he made me pull up my top and proceeded to tear off the little pieces of tape that had held my whole wound together. When I inquired about the pain I had been experiencing, he told me rather abruptly that he couldnt tell me anything about it or help at all and that I had to consult "another member of my team" for help. I quote him "I don't know anything about nerve pain." Really buddy? I find it hard to believe given that he is an actual doctor. And when I asked about capacity and working again he said I could work tomorrow. I was gobsmacked. I struggle to make it out of my bathrobe some days! Maybe I am used to my physicians exhibiting some kind of empathy towards me and my story. This guy however had no desire to find out anything except what my scar looked like. When I left the appointment, I was really angry and couldn't shake it for most of the evening. It just made me feel so small and insignificant. I would most definitely not want this person to be the one to tell me I had cancer! (Interesting side note - Norway is a small place. On a little shopping trip this weekend to find some new furniture I did actually see the doctor/surgeon who did tell me 2 years ago that I had cancer waiting in line at IKEA. Hello small world!) Upon further reflection, Thursday's events made me thankful for the most amazing doctors that I been fortunate enough to have on my team.

The high point (or rather points as it happened every day) was waking up to the pitter patter of my daughter walking down the hallway to our bedroom like clockwork at 7am each day. She would arrive laden with blankets, 3 monkeys, one doll, and some books. She would have a big smile when our eyes met and ran around to my side and hopped right in alongside me. She would tell me that I had to wake up because it wasnt dark anymore outside which I couldn't argue with really. We would cuddle and talk about how well we slept. And this morning she treated us to an impromptu sing and dance to Gangnam Style! It was in that moment that I realized that this was the favorite part of my day and one of the silver linings to my life. I forget about the pain, the tiredness and the cancer. For those 20 or 30 minutes each day, I am somewhere else surrounded by the people I love and just feel happy. Takes some of the sting out of the other "harder" parts for sure. And for that I am lucky.

My alarm clock of choice:

Happy Easter everyone! Go out into the world and eat as many Mini Eggs as you can. I know I will.




  1. dear kate,

    what a total ASSHOLE that doctor (?) was. i know you must have been so stunned and angry and hurt when you got such a dismissive attitude with no empathy or even proper answers to important questions. WTF???

    i love the photo of your little miss adorable. those snuggling mornings - what a lovely way to start your day, being able to banish things like pain, fatigue and doctors from hell.

    i hope you have a wonderful easter, too. oooo, bring on the mini-eggs!

    love, XOXO,

    karen, TC

  2. That doctor needs help. Serious help. The description of your precious daughter is so touching. Many hugs to her!

  3. We need to come up with a "zinger" line to have in our arsenal for "appalling doctor" emergencies. (When I think of a good one I'll let you know!) In the meantime, enjoy your colorful, adorable daughter! xoxo